Dark........

D.A.R.K days. I can't snap myself out of some very dark and consuming days at the moment. Things aren't going right and each outcome seems hopeless. There are no answers.

L.I.G.H.T days are what I wish for right now, even just a glimpse, a twinkle, would be enough to help take this weight from my chest so I can breathe easily again.

Something that sneaks happiness into my life when I most need it, my family. And I am forever grateful for them, just to hear them say 'good morning' is enough for me to get up everyday and just to see them smile gives me the energy to move, step by step. Boy do I LOVE them............

take me here

Everyday, I'd love a day like today:

• early start, a few hours spent at my little shop, setting and sorting and then walking out to leave it to the girls for the day
• coming home to my family - tim laying new turf, tilly helping in her gumboots and fletcher running out on the deck when I arrived home, 'morning mumma'
• the temperature, just right with a slight breathe of wind
• a few hours spent at bunnings buying manure and other bits for the garden
• a stroll through the markets topping up on fresh fruit, veg and some pastries for afternoon tea
• back home to spend some quality time as a family in the garden with the dogs by our sides
  
• kids bouncing, laughing, tumbling, swinging, making up games and playing in the cubby for hours
• sitting in amongst the veggie patches enjoying a coffee in our bison latte bowls with our pastries from the markets.

Honestly. I. Love. Today. It was a really happy day and now I feel tired, really tired, but it's a soul reviving tiredness. Sweet dreams...............

hello pretty garden

I took a stroll around my garden today after a weekend of wild weather here in Canberra. I wanted to make sure there wasn't too much harsh damage done to my pretty little blossoms that have started to appear.

Wow, I felt like a child walking through a far away land. Not for one second did I feel like I was in a suburban back yard. Everything has grown so much and I found bits and bobs of all sorts, and they all took my breathe away. From the fruit tree blossom bulbs, to the massive amounts of new growth on our newly planted Daphne, to the little white snowdrop flowers. I have no idea where the snowdrops came from, but I am so happy they have come to live in our garden.

The pot I planted with bulbs has come to life and smells as sweet as sugar. Last week I spent a couple of mornings putting cow manure all around and I cannot believe how much our carpet roses have come to life since doing that. A little poo, goes a long way! We have our first purple flower on our new pots of rosemary and the verburnams are still in full flower. The mop tops will be a while off yet, but seeing them covered in buds gives me something to look forward to.

It's now time to weed, mulch and just soak it up. All the hard work, finally comes together. There is still so much more to do, but what a lovely start to an exciting and flower filled spring.

growing, changing

I've had a tough year on a personal level. It's been a challenging, deeply gut wrenching and soul searching time. I've had to change direction and approach things differently as I am forced into a more independent way of life. Funny how life throws things at you when you think you aren't ready, but in fact, I am ready.

I've had days where I feel so alone and so empty, that it feels like I'm lying in a full, warm bath and then suddenly, someone pulls the plug. You know, that feeling that you are slowly being sucked down a plug hole - it's pulling, it's draining and the noise, it deafens me. But then, by natural response, you pull yourself up and lift yourself out of that bath and you move one more step forward.

I've had to totally change the way I think, the way I respond and the way I deal with different situations. It's often a selfish response, and it's not something that feels right, but I have learnt to build that wall to protect my vulnerable mind. I'm learning, slowly, that I can be ok and that I am going to benefit from these changes. It is going to free my mind, allow me growth opportunities and it is going to teach me some life skills that I never thought I would have. The changes are exciting, self boosting, scary and unknown just like this cherry tree lane. It's winding, blossoming and who knows what is at the end of the road?

a birthday celebration

Last week we celebrated a friends birthday with a little morning. I had so much fun putting together a sweet little 'desert table'. We sat, drank tea, ate mini cupcakes and lemon tarts, read magazines and opened lots of lovely and handmade presents. Nothing else was needed, it was just right!

something about tea

The other day I went and visited a friend for her birthday. I took her a jar of fresh black tea and a bunch of flowers. We sat around the fire and sipped tea and ate cupcakes with sugar flowers on top. It couldn't get more simple of more satisfying than that.

What is it about tea that allows your mind the time to really think about things? Is it the aroma as the hot water infuses the leaves? That warm leafy, hearty smell that makes you want to savour every mouthful before it runs out. Is it the gentleness as it warms your throat, or is it sipping from bone china cups that makes it feel like a fantasy?

My Grandma LOVED tea and she loved it strong (and that love has now made it's way through 4 generations). I always looked at her as the 'queen of tea'. Through my little people eyes, she was the expert, she knew so much, she knew how it should be made and how it should taste. I will never forget one time when she came to visit and I made her a cup of tea. I can still hear her words as she took a sip 'that's a good cup of tea'. As a child I could have burst with excitement that the 'queen of tea' thought my tea was alright!

Whatever it is about tea, it's what I love more than anything. I. Love. Tea. I love the way it makes me feel and I love how it always makes me slow down. And more than anything, I love that it brings everyone together.

See those photos.............

they make me so happy! I have a couple of friends, two friends, whom I adore for a number of reasons. You know how you have people in your lives for a reason and sometimes for only a short time? Well I really hope these two friends are in my life forever.

We always celebrate our birthdays together and yesterday we celebrated mine. A divine lunch in the most beautiful little house, with an open fire place (which I claimed as mine!) and a beautiful table setting with a menu that consisted of roasted root vegetable salad, rolled chicken and little pear tatins with mascorpone cheese. It was amazingly delicious, homely and just what I wanted - and a little more.

We have this little thing going that when it comes to the gifts we have to hand make one of them. This is the gift that I cannot wait to see, it always excites me and it means so much more when it's something created just for me. One of those handmade gifts was a black clutch (which I note, I have been wanting for months now) lined with Mary Jane shoe fabric and finished with a Mary Jane shoe badge on the front - it's just so me and I love it. The other handmade gift was the best biscuit jar (I have to admit, I have an addiction for jars) from the Donna Hay General Store, filled with handmade 'Nigella' double chocolate cookies - oh my, they lasted about 24 hours in our house, they were so, so delicious.

Thanks girls, I'm so happy right now. Love ya both, bring on our trip to the White House in Daylesford :o)